Self -Worth
Nobody wakes up one morning believing they're not enough.
Somewhere along the way, we learn it.
The song stuck in your head
Have you ever had a song stuck in your head that you didn’t even realise you knew all the words to?​ Self-worth can be a bit like that.
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We pick up messages about ourselves our whole lives. From our parents, school, friendships, relationships, social media, the things people say to us and the things they don’t.​ Some are obvious. Others have been around for so long we don’t even notice them anymore.
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“Don’t be difficult.”
“Just get on with it.”
“Stop being so sensitive.”
“Don’t make it all about you.”
“You’ve got nothing to complain about.”
“Keep the peace.”
“What will people think?”
“You should be grateful.”
“Other people have it worse.”
“Don’t get too big for your boots.”
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Those messages can become the background music playing in your head, and when the same one has been playing for years, it’s easy to forget that you didn’t necessarily choose the station.
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Hang on… where did I even get this idea about myself from?
When the message becomes a pattern
Once you start noticing what’s playing, you start hearing it everywhere - in the apology you automatically add when you ask for something, the way you brush off a compliment, or the panic when someone’s annoyed with you.
You don’t have to replace every negative thought with a positive one. Half the battle is catching it and thinking, hang on, do I actually believe that?
And sometimes the old message doesn’t even sound like a thought anymore. It looks like saying yes when you want to say no, staying quiet because you don’t want to be difficult, or assuming someone else’s mood must be about you.
​That’s when you start to realise the song isn’t only playing in your head. You’ve been dancing to it too.​
Changing the Station
We hear some messages so often they eventually become background noise.
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Which station have you been listening to?
NOT ENOUGH FM
Everyone else is doing better than me.
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KEEP THEM HAPPY 101.2
Don’t upset anyone.
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TOO MUCH FM
Tone it down.
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PROVE YOURSELF 98.6
Maybe then you’ll be enough.
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WHAT WILL THEY THINK? AM
Better play it safe.
Try this
Mirror Reflection
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Stand in front of a mirror for one minute and actually look at yourself.
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Not to check your hair, pull at your clothes or find the thing you don’t like today.
Just look.
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Pay attention to where your mind goes first.
Do you criticise yourself? Look away? Feel awkward? Start fixing something? Or struggle to look at yourself at all?
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There’s nothing you need to do with what comes up.
For now, just notice the station that starts playing.
If your inner radio could only play one message for the rest of your life, what would you want it to say?
Continue Exploring Awareness of Self
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Boundaries
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Get clearer on what you can give, what you can’t, and what you keep agreeing to carry.
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